


A Mother's Wrath

by 9haharharley1



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Carla Lives, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this a million years ago, No Beta, Strong Female Characters, We Die Like Men, if i decide to continue this, more characters later - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 13:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16577009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/9haharharley1/pseuds/9haharharley1
Summary: What if Carla had lived? What if Eren had been the one eaten by the Smiling Titan?Carla witnesses the death of her son at the hands of the titans. It nearly kills her.But if she dies, she's damn well taking some of them down with her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So when I wrote this back in 2014 or something, I saw a what-if pic of Carla in 3D maneuver gear and that got me thinking: What if she lived and Eren died in her place? And I liked the idea so much at the time that I pumped out nearly 6000 words in one sitting.
> 
> Unbeta'd

It didn’t sit well with her to just wait for Eren, hothead though he was, to come home. It wasn’t the first fight they had, and Carla knew her temperamental son hadn’t meant the things he said. She needed to apologize.

 

She waited for about five minutes after Mikasa followed him before she couldn’t stand it and went to find her kids. Carla strolled easily through town. Being the doctor’s wife meant that everyone knew who she was and cordially greeted her. She asked where she could find her children. Some shook their heads, others pointed towards the river. Carla thanked them all before going on her way.

 

She found Armin chatting with Hannes when the sky lit up and thunder shook the ground.

 

Carla managed to keep her balance, but when she looked up, a monstrous face of muscle and teeth was peering over the top of the wall and Carla’s blood ran cold. There was a sickeningly loud _crack_ and debris flew everywhere.

 

Horror coursed through her, an icy fear like no other threatening to paralyze her. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak.

 

“-aeger! …Jaeger! Mrs. Jaeger!” a tiny voice called out. Carla looked down and saw little Armin Arlert staring up at her with terrified blue eyes. “Mrs. Jaeger, I thought you were at home!”

 

Home. Home. Eren. Mikasa. They were supposed to be here with Armin so why couldn’t she spot them in the panicking crowd?

 

“Armin…” her voice wavered and she was distantly aware of people screaming about titans. “Armin, where are Eren and Mikasa?!”

 

Little Armin’s face grew pale and his little body started shaking. “E-Eren went home! Mikasa followed him!”

 

Fear’s icy claws latched onto Carla’s heart. Terror consumed her and the next thing she was aware of was rushing past screaming townspeople back to her home. She’d never been one for prayer, but as she ran, she prayed fervently to the three goddesses to keep her children safe. _‘Please, please, let them be safe!’_

 

It was her worst nightmare come true when she saw a piece of Wall Maria had landed on her roof, completely crushing it.

 

“Eren! Mikasa!” she screamed. She sprinted the last of the distance, pushing her body harder than she ever had, next to the rubble, digging. _“Eren!”_

 

“M-mom…” a soft but weak voice called out. Carla crawled on all fours to sound and found Mikasa lying on her side, a wooden beam pinning her arm. Her adopted daughter struggled to push it off, but her tiny body was losing strength from the pain.

 

“M-Mikasa!” Carla shouted. She scrambled over, gripping the beam and heaving with all her strength to free her little girl. Mikasa’s arm was blue and purple where it had been crushed, the bones obviously broken. She whimpered as Carla gathered her in her loving arms and held her close. “Mikasa, my baby, oh my god…” Thank you…” she pressed tearful kisses to Mikasa’s cheeks, who started crying softly into her red scarf. She cradled her broken arm close and whimpered.

 

“M-mom…” she sputtered.

 

Carla rocked her back and forth gently. “I’m here. I’m here, baby. Where’s Eren?” If it was possible, Mikasa cried harder. Carla’s entire body froze and she pulled away to look at her daughter. “Mikasa, where is Eren?” she demanded.

 

Tears dripped form the girl’s dark eyes as she turned to the rubble they once called home. “E-Eren…”

 

Carla slowly let Mikasa go. “No…” She dug her fingers into another wooden beam and hauled with all her might. “NO!” she screamed. Tears clouded her eyes and she struggled to sift through all the rubble. “Eren! Eren, can you hear me?!” There was no reply, only the distant sound of screaming. “Eren, I’m here, baby! Mama’s gonna get you out of there! Just hang… on!” She heaved again as tears cascaded down her cheeks. “Eren!”

 

Behind her, Mikasa openly sobbed. Booming footsteps grew nearer to them, but still Carla tried to dig. She continuously called out to her son, but a reply never came. It wasn’t until she felt a hand on her shoulder forcibly pulling her back that she looked away to find Hannes standing over her, face grim. He said something, but Carla did not hear. She just shook her head frantically, and when he started to drag her and Mikasa away, she struggled against him.

 

“No!” she shouted, hitting his back. He had Mikasa under one arm and dragged Carla forcefully away with the other, hand clamped tight on her wrist. “I can’t just leave him! That’s my son, Hannes! Hannes, I have to save him, I have to get to him! Eren!” She looked over her shoulder just as a titan with a hideously wide smile bent over and rummaged through the debris. Her eyes widened, her mind going numb. When the titan stood, a tiny body was clutched in one hand. “Eren! Eren, _no! Don’t you touch him!_ ” Her struggles in Hannes grip renewed, but he held fast. To Carla’s horror, she saw one of Eren’s little arms move just as the titan opened its mouth.

 

As the monster bit down, Carla let out a blood-curdling scream.

 

///

 

Something in her died that day.

 

Carla had lost many friends, neighbors, and her son. Refugees were relocated to Wall Rose, the Armored Titan having broken completely through the inner gate of Wall Maria. She had managed to follow Hannes to the boat where she and Mikasa sat next to Armin and his grandfather. She completely broke down. She sobbed and wailed against the old man’s shoulder as Mikasa held her hand, her other arm bandaged in a makeshift sling, Armin sitting on Mikasa’s other side, both of them quietly weeping for their lost friend. None of them spoke the whole way to Wall Rose.

 

Once they were settled in Trost, Carla set aside her mourning and worked closely with Armin’s grandfather to help support the two kids. They needed to focus on staying alive and they were all Carla had left. Mikasa was still her daughter, by blood or not, and she had always thought of Armin as a second son. So she forced away her grief and focused on their safety. For the first few months, Carla managed to do just that. She and the kids toiled away in the fields every day to earn a loaf of bread, and every night crashed on a cot in an abandoned shed, the kids curled up on either side of her. There was no time for grief to catch up with her.

 

It was on a cold day in November when she finally broke.

 

Carla had been too exhausted to get up after a particularly grueling week  in the fields that she slept in one day. When she awoke, Armin, his grandfather, and Mikasa were nowhere to be found. Mikasa had left her ever-present red scarf behind, having haphazardly wrapping it around Carla while her step-mother slept in an effort to keep the older woman warm. Carla smiled weakly at her thoughtfulness. It was only when she sat up that she realized it was the very same scarf that had once belonged to her Eren. Mikasa had worn it for so long that she had nearly forgotten. Carla covered her mouth with a shaking hand.

 

The dam broke.

 

After months of putting it to the back of her mind, Carla finally thought if her hotheaded, stubborn, loyal boy and she heaved out a sob. She cradled the scarf close and cried, cried for her dead son. She cried for Mikasa and Armin, who had to live in this hellish world and grow up knowing the true meaning of hard labor. She cried for her husband, who had been missing since the day the Wall fell all those months ago.

 

Sobs wracked her body, leaving her shaking and gasping for breath. She slowly reached into her shirt where a locket lay hidden around her neck and she pulled it out. As her sobs subsided, Carla opened the small trinket to reveal the most important people in her life. It had cost more than she would like to admit to get pictures of her family, but Carla had always been grateful, now more than ever. On one side stood her and her husband, proud smiles on their faces as Carla held a newly born Eren in her arms. It was the happiest she and her husband had ever been, love and adoration shown in their eyes. Opposite the picture was one of Eren and Mikasa just a few short months after Mikasa came to live with them. Mikasa wasn’t smiling, her scarf pulled up over her mouth, but her eyes sparkled, and there, standing next to her with an arm wrapped around her small shoulders, was her Eren.

 

Carla’s eyes watered once more as she stared down at him. Eren’s bright eyes sparkled with life, a wide grin on his face showing off a missing tooth. His cheeks were pudgy, his hair a wild mess, and the hole in Carla’s heart seemed to rip open all over again.

 

“Eren…” Carla whimpered. “Oh, Eren, m-my precious baby, I m-miss you s-so much. What kind of m-mother am I that I’ve barely thought of you these past few m-months?” She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so, so sorry for everything. I’m sorry our last m-moments together were spent fighting. I’m sorry that I hadn’t died in your place. At least then you’d be alive…” Carla gave the picture a watery smile. “Selfish of me, isn’t it? No parent should ever be forced to bury their child, Eren. But… I d-didn’t even have a b-body to bury. B-But you’ll never understand because you’ll n-never have children. You’ll never be able to give m-me grandkids…” She cupped her mouth as more sobs attacked her. She was finally letting out months of built up pain and anguish. Her shoulders shook as she tried to get herself under control. She took deep, even breaths before wiping her eyes again. “Armin and Mikasa are doing as well as they can. I worry about them every day. For as young as they are, they shouldn’t be forced into field labor. Armin’s grandfather is doing well, too. He reads to us every couple of nights.” Carla took a deep breath, holding it in for a moment before exhaling. “I know you’d call me a hypocrite, but… I’m thinking of joining the Survey Corps.”

 

She winced as though preparing for the screaming match that never came. Her heart ached when silence was her only response to such a bold declaration.

 

“I… I still don’t agree with it,” she admitted. “It’s dangerous, and reckless, and everything that you held dear.” She sniffled. “But…” Her eyes hardened, hand tightening around her locket. “But if it means I can pay those monsters back for what they did to you, Eren, then I will kill as many as it takes. I know you wanted to join, so I’ll join for you. I’ll kill every last one of them for you, Eren.” Her honey eyes held a fierceness rivalled only by her deceased son. With a small kiss to her son’s tiny face, her eyes softened again. Her attention shifted to her husband.

 

She glared.

 

“And where the hell are you, Grisha?” she demanded as though the man in the picture could answer. “It’s been months, and you were last heading to the interior. You could at least pay your grieving family a visit! I might as well declare you dead as well!” Her lower lip trembled at the thought. “Please… Please don’t be dead… I couldn’t stand to lose you, too. You and Mikasa are all I have left… Please…” She heaved once more. “Please come back… I love you… I love both of you so much…”

 

By the time Armin and Mikasa got back, Carla had cried herself to sleep.

 

///

 

When the announcement was made to retake Wall Maria, Carla knew everything would change. She was one of the lucky ones who could stay behind to take care of Mikasa and Armin.

 

Armin’s grandfather was not so lucky.

 

She stood with the kids at the gates of Trost, watching as people lined up to be sacrificed. Mikasa held her hand tight, her other arm finally free of its sling. Armin stood on Carla’s other side, shaking violently and tying his hardest not to cry. He was too smart for his own good. He knew exactly why his grandfather was leaving.

 

Old man Arlert walked up to them with his straw hat in hand. He gave Carla a warm, loving smile, and she tried so hard to stay strong for her kids. He pulled her into a tight embrace and she clung to him desperately.

 

“I don’t know what I’ll do without you…” she murmured shakily.

 

He chuckled. “Nonsense. You’ve been doing just fine and you’ll continue to do fine.” He squeezed her for good measure before pulling away. He gave her a soft smile, eyes crinkling. “You remind me so much of my daughter.” He squeezed both of Carla’s shoulders, lowering his voice. “Please don’t run out on him like she did.” He nodded down at Armin.

 

Carla’s eyes were hard, determined, as she answered with a firm, “I’ll take care of him.”

 

The old man nodded before turning to Mikasa. He knelt down to her height and pulled her into a hug. “You’re beautiful, you know that?” he muttered to her. “And you’re strong. You’re stronger than anybody I’ve ever met and I know you’ll do great things when you’re older.” He pulled away and Mikasa gave him a grim nod. He smiled. “I love you like you were my real granddaughter, and if your brother were here, I’d tell  him the same.” Mikasa’s eyes watered, but she stood firm. He placed a scratchy kiss on her forehead and stood up.

 

When he knelt down in front of Armin, Carla had to look away. The little blond all but fell into his grandfather’s arms and held onto him for dear life. She clutched Mikasa’s hand tighter and covered her mouth, refusing to cry.

 

“Don’t go…” Armin whispered brokenly. His little body shook with sobs.

 

“Hey, hey…” old man Arlert muttered. He whispered soothing words to calm his grandson down, and Armin eventually quieted with tiny hiccups. The old man placed a finger under Armin’s chin, encouraging him to look him in the eye. Love and adoration shown in the old man’s eyes. “I love you, you know that?”

 

Armin sniffled, nodding. “I love you, too…” he muttered back.

 

“You be a good boy for Mrs. Jaeger, ok?” the old man said. “Don’t make her worry too much.” Armin nodded. This was where the old man clammed up. His throat tightened and it took too much effort to force his words out. “You’re…” He had to swallow past the lump in his throat. “You’re a smart boy, Armin. You’re going to astound people and make them listen to you. You could have the whole world wrapped around your little finger if you wanted.” He crushed the boy to his chest just as the bell rang for the gates to open. “God, I love you so much…”

 

“I’m going to miss you…” Armin whispered brokenly.

 

“I know,” the old man said sadly. “I’m so sorry for this…” He placed kisses to Armin’s forehead and cheeks. “I love you,” he said one last time he said as he stood. He placed his straw hat on his last family member’s little head. “Be good, now.”

 

With one last look to his small family, Old Man Arlert walked with the rest of the crowd out of the gates to Wall Maria without looking back.

 

There was no question as to what would happen to the 250,000 refugees who left. No one evern had to hint at it.

 

That night, Armin refused to accept either Carla’s or Mikasa’s comfort. He cried quietly to himself as he clutched his grandfather’s straw hat, cheeks blotchy and eyes red. Carla and Mikasa simply sat close to him. Mikasa idly flexed her once broken arm, curling her fingers.

 

When Armin’s sobs finally died down, neither woman expected him to speak.

 

“I’m joining the Survey Corps next year,” he stated softly.

 

Carla whipped her head toward him while Mikasa let out a quiet sigh.

 

“Armin -” Carla started.

 

“I’m doing it!” he shouted firmly.

 

The older woman deflated.

 

“I guess that means I’m going, too,” Mikasa said. Both Carla and Armin turned to her in astonishment. “Someone needs to make sure you stay alive,” she said with the barest hint of a smile towards her friend.

 

Armin smiled back gratefully before looking back down at his hat. Neither of them had the courage to look at Carla.

 

She heaved a shuddering sigh. “I suppose I can’t talk either of you out of it?” she asked.

 

Both children shook their heads.

 

“Eren was going to join, too…” Armin muttered.

 

“I know,” Carla said with a sigh. “No matter how many times I pulled that boy’s ear, he never listened.” She looked up at the stars, studying their brightness as she felt her kids eyes on her. Silence fell over them. Carla wondered if her son was watching them from somewhere up there. She clutched the locket hidden under her shirt and smiled. Her eyes filled with determination. “I’ll join, too. Someone needs to keep an eye on you two.”

 

She missed the twin looks of astonishment on the kids’ faces.

 

“Mom -”

 

“Mrs. Jaeger  -”

 

“Armin, you can either call me ‘Carla’ or ‘Mom’ at this point,” Carla said with a hint of humor. “I might as well declare myself a widow by now anyway.”

 

“But dad’s not…”

 

Carla turned to her stepdaughter with a tight smile. “Honey, I haven’t given up on Grisha, but if I declare myself a widow, the military will be more likely to accept me on the grounds of needing financial stability. But if he does come back after three years of boot camp, he better realize that I’m going to kick his ass to high heaven and back.” She glared off into the distance. She tightened her hand on the locket as a glint of determination neither Mikasa nor Armin had ever seen entered her eyes. “I’ll kill as many as I can before I just sit back and rot,” she hissed. “For Eren.”

 

Mikasa hesitated for a split second before agreeing. “For Eren.”

 

“For Eren,” Armin nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

Carla Jaeger felt out of place standing at attention in the military training camp outside of Trost. She was without a doubt the oldest of the cadets and she didn’t miss the looks some of the teenagers were throwing at her. At twenty-nine, she definitely stood out and her peers easily knew this. Despite this, Carla was determined to join the military if for no other reason than to keep an eye on Mikasa and Armin, then to kill titans. If they wanted to join the Survey Corps then so would she, and she would kill at least one titan in Eren’s name if she could. Her honey eyes were hard as the drill sergeant introduced himself, and she stood with more pride than most of the teens around her.

 

“My name is Keith Shadis! And I have the unfortunate luck to train you maggots!” the man shouted at them. Carla refused to flinch at his tone. She was aware of Mikasa’s unwavering stance as well just a few rows down. Armin was having no such luck. Shadis singled him out immediately and Carla had to restrain herself from attacking the man insulting her surrogate son. She noted with no small amount of pride that Armin handled himself just fine.

 

Shadis did this for most of the recruits. He insulted them and attempted to break their spirits. Some even broke down into tears. Others were bypassed altogether. Carla and Mikasa were ignored. One boy failed to give a proper salute, and a girl was forced to run until she dropped for eating a potato during the ceremony. Carla had been baffled by her audacity and concerned as a mother for her well-being. Now was not the time for motherly instincts, however. For every teenager that was screamed at, Carla wanted to go to their rescue. She instinctively wanted to comfort them, to tell them all that everything would be alright. That was something she would need to work on. Carla realized with growing unease that she would need to distance herself from Armin and Mikasa.

 

They were teenagers now, at that age where parents need to realize that their babies are growing up and they can’t keep sheltering their kids from the world. Armin and Mikasa were among their peers now, other kids their age, and though they were in the military, they would still be tempted to do all those stupid things that teenagers want to do. Carla had done those same stupid things as a teen and so had Grisha. She realized that she couldn’t dote on them like she was prone to for fear of embarrassing them. Armin, docile and timid though he was, was a growing boy and he would have urges develop in the coming months. Mikasa had started to bleed just a few months before enlisting and was already starting to develop a woman’s body. And with the world they lived in and the lifestyle they had chosen, Carla had to learn to let them go.

 

Soon enough, the ceremony was over, Shadis giving them leave to relax as dinner would soon be served in the mess hall. The potato girl was running her laps, and Mikasa and Armin were already gravitating towards each other. Leaving them alone was going to be hard. It took every ounce of willpower not to go to her adopted children. Luckily – or maybe not so lucky – she was halted by Captain Shadis striding up to her. Carla immediately stood at attention, left arm behind her back and right fist over her heart.

 

“Carla Jaeger, is it?” Shadis asked, not unkindly.

 

“Yes, sir,” she answered.

 

“At ease,” he said. He clasped his hands behind his back as Carla hesitantly relaxed her stance. “You’re married to Grisha Jaeger?”

 

Surprise lit the woman’s eyes. In the two years since the fall, no one outside of her little family had mentioned Grisha. To hear his name spoken so openly and with respect nearly brought tears to her tired eyes. “Sir…” she started slowly. “Grisha was my husband.” She was proud that her voice held steady.

 

Shadis blinked, not quite in surprise. “Was? He’s dead?”

 

“Since the fall of Wall Maria no has either seen or spoken of my husband,” Carla admitted with some difficulty. “I’ve asked everyone I’ve met, but I always get the same answer. I’ve even sent letters to all the districts on the Walls asking if he’s been spotted, but I’ve never gotten a reply.”

 

“That is… unfortunate,” Shadis murmured. “He was a good man and an excellent doctor.”

 

“Thank you, sir.”

 

Shadis made to walk away but stopped. He turned back to her. “And you son?”

 

Carla froze.

 

It was one thing to talk about Grisha with strangers. She had accepted that her husband was not returning to her and was most likely dead. But there was still that faint flicker of hope deep in her heart that he may be still alive. Eren, though… Eren was…

 

Her fists clenched at her sides and she stared hard at the ground, willing her tears to recede. “Eren is…” she hesitated. “He… I-I watched him get swallowed by a titan when they invaded.” Her voice quivered and she refused to lookup.

 

Shadis watched her tremble, but made no comment. Instead, he placed a heavy hand on her shoulder. “I’m very sorry for your loss.” His voice was neither soft nor coddling, the voice of a man who had witnessed and experienced too much horror and hardship in his life. But his words were sincere and Carla looked up at him with hardened eyes. She had seen this man both leave and enter the outer gates of Zhiganshina on scouting missions. This was a man who knew loss, who had led men and women to their deaths countless times. His sunken eyes were pitiless, but that did not make his words and actions any less heartfelt.

 

Carla saluted.

 

“Thank you, sir.” Had he still led the Survey Corps, she would have gladly followed him into battle.

 

Shadis nodded and walked away.

 

Mikasa and Armin jogged up to her. Both of them had had a bit of a growth spirt over the last year. Armin came up to her chin now while Mikasa was just about eye to eye with her. She would probably stand taller than Carla.

 

“What was that about?” Armin asked carefully.

 

Carla’s eyes followed Shadis’s retreating form.

 

“He knew Grisha.”

 

///

 

She was surrounded by brats.

 

Everywhere she turned her head; there was another snot-nosed, self-entitled kid there with dreams of making it to the top ten so they could join the Military Police. Carla wasn’t going to be the one to trash those dreams, but these kids were in for a rude awakening when all their so-called talent failed them during their basic training.

 

Did that mean she was confident in her own skills? Not at all. If anything, she was going to have to work twice as hard to keep up with all of them.

 

After the opening ceremony, Carla had tried her hardest to keep her distance from her adopted children. She didn’t want to embarrass them or somehow ruin their chances of making friends. Somewhere along those lines, though, she forgot that neither of them was very sociable. Armin was as shy as they come. Years of bullying had beaten his confidence until it was nonexistent. Carla was hoping that three years of military training would help build him up a bit. Mikasa, on the other hand, was a true introvert. After everything the poor girl had been through, Carla didn’t blame her one bit for not wanting to get close to anybody. Her daughter had many difficulties when it came to making friends. People were put off by her cold eyes and foreign features, and Mikasa made no efforts to socialize. In Zhiganshina, she had been perfectly content to follow Eren and Armin around and letting them do the talking.

 

Eren had always been the sociable one. He liked to talk, he liked to start conversations, and he liked to argue. Sadly, her silly boy also had a hot temper and was easily offended. He had trouble making friends and keeping them. All the neighborhood kids had been put off when he’d fly into a rage at the drop of a hat. His violent tendencies had also been a major worry. He would start fights any time he caught Armin being bullied, not to mention what had happened with Mikasa. It was a blessing in disguise when Mikasa came to live with them. She helped to keep the hothead under control. Eren had been lacking in structure. His father was always away on business and Carla would be so busy around the house she had trouble keeping a semblance of order.

 

Maybe letting him join the military would have been a good thing. It would have provided an outlet for his anger. Getting screamed at for every little mistake might have done him some good and helped cool that hot head of his.

 

She shook her head of those thoughts.

 

“So where are you from?” one of the teens asked her. Carla glanced to the left where two kids stared back, one of them being the kid who got the salute wrong. His head was completely shaved and he stared at her with wide, curious eyes. The faintest of blushes colored his cheeks. He stood next to her on the porch of the mess hall as the sun set in the distance. The potato girl was still running laps.

 

Carla blinked down at the boy, who stood a little shorter than most of the other boys, even Armin. “Me?” she asked.

 

The kid nodded. “Yeah. Shadis didn’t single you out like most of us.”

 

Mikasa and Armin stood on Carla’s other side and she gestured to them. “Zhiganshina, same as them,” she answered.

 

The boy’s – Connie, if she recalled correctly – eyes widened, as did his freckled friend. “No way! Then… you saw the Colossal Titan, right?”

 

Carla went rigid and took a moment to reply. Even her kids stood a little stiffer. “Yeah,” she said shortly. “We saw it.” She pushed off the railing and headed inside to get some food.

 

Unfortunately, Connie and his friend didn’t seem to take the hint and followed her. “So what was it like?” the bald kid asked as Carla grabbed a tray of food. He followed her to a table and sat across from her with his friend. “I heard it was so tall it could step over the wall.”

 

His chatter attracted other cadets who moved to their table before Armin or Mikasa could take a seat. “It wasn’t nearly that tall,” Carla muttered. “It just… looked over the wall. It’s head was the only thing we could see.” She could very clearly recall that horrible grinning face.

 

“And the Armored Titan?” another girl asked. “What about that one?”

 

“Someone told me it had metal plating!” another boy answered her.

 

Carla shook her head, not looking up from her tray. “No. It looked more like it was covered in bone.”

 

Some of the kids shuddered and Carla had to will herself to be patient with them. They were curious, stupid kids who were competing for a chance to join either the Military Police or the Garrison in hopes of living in the Interior. Most of them didn’t know what true horror was. Most of them had never experienced great tragedy or known what it was like to watch a family member be eaten.

 

Eren’s limp body in the hands of a titan flashed through her mind and Carla choked, her spoon falling to the table. She covered her mouth and shook violently.

 

The chatter around her ceased and the teens eyed her nervously. The freckled youth stood and looked over the gathered crowd. “Come on, guys,” he said hesitantly. “I’m sure there are some things she’d rather forget.” He was a freckled angel is what he was and Carla was grateful.  

 

“Sorry…” a girl with pigtails murmured.

 

“Yeah,” Connie agreed. “I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just… all we heard in my village was rumors.”

 

Carla shook her head. “It’s fine.” She forced a small smile. “Besides, the Armored Titan kind of had a face like a turtle. Not as scary as the big one.”

 

A few table away, a rather larger blond snorted in his drink. There were a few chuckles all around and Carla felt a little better to have eased the tension in the air. She took a bite of her bread. Some of the kids still looked tense and Carla’s mothering instincts kicked in.

 

“We can easily take them,” she stated. Her voice came out surprisingly fierce and a fury she hadn’t felt since the day she resolved to join the Corps rose in her. Her eyes hardened. “Once we master the maneuver gear, taking down the titans will be a cinch.” Eren’s smiling face flashed in her mind and her resolve grew. Her fists tightened.

 

“You’re actually going to try and take them on? Aren’t you a little old for that?” a haughty young man called out. The crowd parted and Carla saw a teen with sandy-blond hair and an undercut watching her with his chin in his hand. The boy gave her a smirk. “Or are you going senile already?”

 

Carla raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m still young enough join the military and take on a titan or two and I’m sure I’m old enough to whoop your ass with this tray.”

 

There were catcalls and snickers all around at her words and the teen blushed. He cleared his throat but didn’t look away. “If you want to get yourself killed, old lady, be my guest. I’ll be in the Interior far away from the titans.”

 

Now she recognized the youth. During the ceremony he and the freckled sweetheart had boldly claimed to join the Military Police. Shadis had given them a taste of reality. Carla gave the boy a hard stare. “Kirstein, was it?” she asked.

 

He stood with a flourish. “That’s right. Jean Kirstein, at your service.” He bowed pompously. Carla had been right.

 

She was surrounded by brats.

 

She stood to meet him. He was tall, probably a year or two older than some of the others, and Carla relished the small height advantage she had on him. That would change in the next few years. She stared harshly down at him, a mother clearly not amused by her child’s antics. “Well then, Jean, I think we can agree to disagree.” She held out her hand just as the bell rang for cadets to return to their bunks.

 

Jean eyed her hand suspiciously. When he finally reached up to shake it, Carla pulled away and turned on her heel to leave. She could hear the snickers of her fellow trainees and imagined the look on the bratty teen’s face.

 

It was safe to say that Eren had inherited most of her personality. As she walked towards the barracks, she smiled fondly at the thought of her son. He would have started a fight with Jean, no doubt about that. The boy had felt so strongly about the Survey Corps that the very idea of the Military Police sickened him. After witnessing the horror of the titans firsthand, Carla couldn’t find it in her heart to blame anybody who placed their own survival above all else. Self-preservation was naturally ingrained in all humans and she wouldn’t blame anyone for choosing to live over throwing their lives away trying to help humanity.

 

Hell, she used to be one of those same people before the fall.

 

Carla was torn from her thoughts as Mikasa walked up beside her.

 

“Are you okay?” the girl asked softly.

 

Carla managed a tiny smile. “I’m fine, Mikasa. Don’t worry about me.”

 

Mikasa buried her nose in her scarf, even though it was too warm out for her to be wearing the thing anyway. “I know,” she murmured. “But you’re the only family I have left. I can’t help but worry.”

 

“I should be the one worrying,” Carla said, nudging her with her shoulder. “Pretty soon you and Armin won’t want anything to do with me.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Mikasa said, eyes downcast.

 

Carla frowned, but relented. She smiled lightly and wrapped an arm around her adopted daughter. “You’re growing up fast,” she said. “You’ll be taller than me soon.” She playfully ruffled Mikasa’s hair. “Your hair is getting pretty long, too.”

 

The younger girl was quiet for a moment before hesitantly bringing her eyes up to Carla’s. “Can I get it cut?” she asked nervously.

 

“Whatever you want,” Carla answered, pulling her close. “You’re a growing girl. You can make your own decisions now.”

 

Mikasa nodded. “I want to cut it, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> I would really like to continue this, but I fell out of the fandom so long ago and now I'm not sure I have the focus to. I did have an idea of where I'd like to go with this.


End file.
